Hey you,
Yeah, you—the one who’s smart enough to read this before getting sweet-talked by a robotic voice claiming you’ve got an unpaid HMRC bill. Let’s talk.
Scams aren’t what they used to be. Gone are the days of the obviously fake prince in Nigeria (may he rest in spam). Today’s scams are sneakier, smoother, and far more convincing. But don’t worry. Arsenio and Lila are here, tagging in like digital bodyguards to keep your phone—and your sanity—safe.
Table of Contents
1. The “Health Adviser” Who Cares Too Much
Picture this: Your phone rings, and on the other end is a soothing, professional voice claiming to be from your GP’s office or health centre. They sound knowledgeable, even sympathetic. Maybe they’ve got a “concern” about your joint pain, or your back, or your energy levels. They might say you’re eligible for free supplements or discounted medication, if you’ll just confirm your date of birth, address, and card details. Sounds helpful, right?
Nope. It’s a trap. They aren’t trying to cure you—they’re trying to charge you. Multiple times, in fact. Usually for cheap vitamins you never asked for and won’t even receive.
What to do? Politely hang up, then call your GP directly if you’re worried. Real NHS staff don’t do upselling.
2. The WhatsApp “Dream Job”
Ah yes, the modern hustle. You get a voicemail or a missed call inviting you to message a recruiter on WhatsApp about a flexible, high-paying job. Maybe it’s data entry. Maybe it’s Amazon reviews. Maybe it’s “customer onboarding.”
Spoiler: It’s a scam.
They’ll feed you feel-good fluff, ask you to join a Telegram group, and then push you to “invest” in a so-called training fee or deposit. By the time you realise it’s nonsense, your money (and your hope) has vanished into the digital abyss.
Remember this: Real employers don’t recruit on WhatsApp. Not legit ones, anyway. If it smells like a shortcut to money, it probably leads to an empty wallet.
3. “This Is Your Bank’s Fraud Department”
Let’s just say it’s clever—diabolically so. You get a call from a number that even matches your bank’s official one. The caller says there’s been suspicious activity on your account, and they need to verify your identity or help you move your funds to a “safe account.”
Oh the irony.
What’s really happening is they’re social-engineering their way into your financial world. They don’t need your PIN—they just need a dash of panic and a sprinkle of trust.
Never give sensitive info over the phone. Hang up. Then call your bank yourself using the number on the back of your card. If it was real, you’ll be routed back. If it wasn’t—you just saved your money.
4. HMRC, TPS, or The Robot From Nowhere
These ones are a bit retro. You’ll get a robo-voice saying you’re being investigated by HMRC, or that your phone number is being removed from the Telephone Preference Service. Press one to avoid arrest. Press two to stay registered. Press three to feed your details to cyber-pirates.
And yet, people fall for it. Why? Because fear is powerful. These recordings are urgent, threatening, and efficient. They don’t give you time to think—only to react.
Don’t. React. At. All.
Don’t press anything. Don’t call back. Just hang up and block the number. HMRC will send letters. TPS never asks for money. And robots can’t arrest you. Yet.
5. Passport Mayhem and Crypto Chaos
This is where it gets surreal. Someone calls saying there’s an issue with your passport application. You might be locked out of travel. Your identity could be compromised. Or—you know—the world might end.
Or maybe they’re inviting you to an exclusive investment opportunity via Moonpay or another crypto platform. It’s always urgent. It’s always exclusive. And it’s always fake.
Passports are handled by government websites. Investments are never urgent (unless you’re being scammed). And anyone trying to make you act now is hoping you don’t think first.
Want to Stay Ahead of the Game?
That’s what we’re here for. No fluff. No panic. Just smart, steady defence against the digital scumbags trying to make your phone a weapon against you.
📘 Grab your free Cybersecurity Guide right now at https://www.cybersecurityadvisor.co.uk. If you’ve ever felt even a flicker of doubt about a message, call, or email, this guide is for you.
Stay safe, stay sharp.
– Arsenio & Lila
References
- 5 phone scams to know about right now, Which? (Jul 16, 2025) (which.co.uk)
- Bank, passport, TPS impersonation scams, Which?
- Scammers keeping lines open, Which? (x.com)
- Blocking advice, Which? (which.co.uk)
- VoIP spoofing & scam trends, Reddit & Which?
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